Posted by
Chris Herzberger on Thursday, September 25, 2008 11:31:16 PM
I have a serious problem. It is in some ways profoundly humiliating and
in others, just downright stupid, so please bear with me as I offer you
a humble confession of one of my deepest, darkest secrets.
The computer in my bedroom had been meant for good. I was fourteen
years old, and had been entrusted with a machine that provided me an
unfiltered link to the outside world. It was late at night, and I was
all alone - lonely, even - so I began typing words into search engines,
which I’d never dared to explore on any previous occasion. Call it
young curiosity, or old-fashioned foolishness; what my young mind was
about to encounter was a complex and darkly intriguing new world I had
never known existed. And there was no turning back.
It has been eight years and nothing has changed. I still find myself
regularly staring at the 15” computer screen on my MacBook Pro,
reloading heavily bookmarked websites over and over within the course
of a single minute, screaming like a girl at a Jonas Brothers concert
when my Internet connection fails or stutters, and worst of all… I find
myself consumed by an alternate identity that few recognize or
understand.
It is a monster that is aggressively addictive and steadily impersonal;
temporarily satisfying and embarrassingly fake. I can’t live with it,
but I can’t go on with out it. A girlfriend wouldn’t understand it, and
a true friend wouldn’t allow it. It is my rise and my fall, my bread
and my poison. And it is high time I confess this addiction to all of
the world.
No. Not porn.
Worse. Politics.
I am addicted, in the truest sense, to the vicious world of political engagement.
It is not uncommon for me to have a web browser open to Politico,
RealClearPolitics, CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, ABC, Hot Air, and Town Hall
all at once, all day long. It is not uncommon for me to find myself
browsing these sites even as a friend on the phone pours out his
emotional life story, in true need of my attention and compassion.
Worst of all, it is not uncommon for me to forget eating, exercising,
socializing, and occasionally breathing in order to focus on the latest
and hottest headlines making their way across the world.
Somebody…help.
Nothing about this is healthy, but after years of developing my views
and being saturated daily with information from a wide variety of news
sources, I have become the ultimate media consumer; I have been
transformed into one of the petty lemmings that drive media driven
politics as we know it.
Seriously. Help.
I am an unashamed conservative, and take a lot of heat for it;
particularly because I am a producer in Los Angeles where most, if not
all, of my friends are either strict Democrats, or fierce
anti-Republicans (and generally, both). While I wouldn’t necessarily
call myself a Republican (unless of course I’m sucking up to one), I
would say that my political beliefs are far enough to the right that I
risk destroying opportunities of employment and possible business
relationships if I choose to be real. The addiction, though, prevents
me from shutting up.
My most prized political stances have not been shaped or forced upon me
by any one particular radio program, newspaper, book or TV show. I have
come to my conclusions about social issues, fiscal responsibilities,
and foreign relations without the direction of any one partisan source;
I am my own thinker, can come to my own conclusions, and I am proud of
that fact.
In the midst of political stances, however, there is something
troubling me so much that I am nearly ready to offer someone every
possession I have for the opportunity to be cured of this… disease.
It is an emotion that haunts me. Whether I’m experiencing it or
observing it, its presence is undeniable in politics. Its presence is
inherent.
We call it hate.
A quick skim through the comment section of any political blog easily
reveals the astonishing level of hate that exists for political
candidates and their respective supporters. I’m not much help. If I am
browsing a blog on Politico and happen upon some cruel statement
directed at Senator McCain (whom I have decided to support), I’ll
occasionally throw out a blisteringly witty attack post of my own,
chuckle a bit in admiration of my new found zinger, then quickly surf
to another site so as to avoid any potential confrontation a response
to my quip might create. It isn’t about engagement at that point. It
isn’t about discussion or understanding. It is about the
self-satisfaction of knowing I’ve pissed someone off. It is about
harshly addressing an Internet personality I’ve never met simply
because I feel anger and hate towards their words.
Maybe ‘hate’ isn’t what it is. Maybe I don’t ‘hate.’ I hope I don’t
‘hate.’ I hope I’m just angry. My faith tells me I shouldn’t hate. My
faith tells me to love my enemies (though it’s probably un-American to
define Senator Obama and his supporters as my ‘enemy’). My faith tells
me that hating is as bad as murder. Which leaves me in quite a bind,
doesn’t it?
I suppose that what troubles me the most is that politics can bring
this complex, deceitful and destructive emotion out of me and so many
others with such ease and velocity. I think it is devastating, and I
think it needs to be addressed in the context of the political
landscape.
I would venture to say that many people who are engaged in national
politics feel a stronger sense of ‘hate’ towards their party’s
presidential opponent than they do towards crazy nutjobs like Mahmoud
Ahmadinejad, Kim Jong-il, and Hugo Chavez.
I would venture to say that there are many Americans who ‘hate’ George Bush more than Osama bin Laden.
And I would venture to say that there are many voters who ‘hate’
because the late night comics, partisan commentators, and disconnected
campaigns want us to hate.
We need reform in American politics if we are truly to become a better
nation with a better people who are better informed and more open
minded when it comes to leadership.
We must stop the domination of two flawed parties and allow for third
party candidates to stand a fair chance. We must stop the ridiculous
back and forth attack statements between competing politicians. We must
stop the use of hundreds of millions of dollars (publicly funded or
not) for commercials and pamphlets that don’t have a standard for
truth. We must end the lack of direct interaction with curious voters
who don’t want to know how a politician performs under lights with
prepared remarks, but rather what he or she genuinely believes in and
what he or she has accomplished. We must stop this absurd setup of only
three presidential debates and make it a weekly requirement for
candidates to stand on a stage together and field questions from the
people they hope to represent. We must demand that the media stop
capitalizing on one word fumbles and the occasional inability to
instantly recall specific facts, because while making for a juicy story
on the evening news, it is the primary reason politicians avoid being
spontaneous and honest. It is the primary reason why true leaders don’t
dare set foot in Washington.
Enough. Neither the Obama campaign nor the McCain campaign have done
anything even remotely different in the way they have run their
operations. Both promised change and openness. Both failed. Both
promised truth and integrity. Both failed. Both promised that this
would be an election that was about issues, records, votes, and ideas.
Both failed far beyond measure.
Until things change, Washington won’t bring about hope and prosperity,
peace and a bipartisan spirit. Until we have an American system of
politics that allows us to know our leaders as they truly are, and not
what their logos, ads, press releases, and surrogates define them to be
– anger and hate will flourish and nothing will be accomplished.
When all you know of someone are their impersonal soundbites and
distant, lofty speeches… hating is an awfully easy thing to do. Being
the political addict that I am, I finally have come to the realization
that a presidential campaign in 2008 is nothing more than a television
show with a good guy, a bad guy, and some really bad actors. A
presidential campaign in 2008 is as far from reality as it could
possibly be.
I have a serious problem. It is in some ways profoundly challenging and
in others, just downright annoying, but please bear with me as I offer
you a humble confession of one of my deepest, darkest secrets: I hate
that we hate and know we’re better than this. I only wish our
politicians knew it too.